Knit Together

The past few months have sort of been a blur. Time feels like it is moving faster every day. I just changed my calendar to November today and it is already half way through the month.  I’m not sure what we are doing differently but I don’t remember being this busy before. 

Today I took a few seconds to slow down and think about what time of the year it is. I dreaded November because I knew it would bring up so many different emotions since this was the month Abigail was conceived last year but so far I have let those thoughts stay in the back of my mind.  I decided that it was time to bring them to the forefront.  Facing painful moments or hard memories is never easy but it is so necessary to the healing process.

I did not know it, but at this very moment last year God was knitting our sweet Abigail together in my womb. That verse, Psalm 139:13 “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb,” has always meant a lot to me.  I have read it many times to remind myself of the truth that I am beautifully created by God and that I have a very important purpose.  I guess, not being a mother until Abigail, I didn’t think much about the meaning of the verse from the mother’s perspective. I always read the verse from the perspective of the baby being knit together as a reference to myself but as I read it now it has a whole new meaning.

God was carefully crafting her together. Every detail of her little body He knew and He had a purpose for. He loved and wanted Abigail so much that he chose me to be her mommy so He could create her life. He chose Dave to be her daddy. He chose my womb to knit her together. He chose 5 weeks to be her life span on this earth. He chose Heaven to be her home.

I know that the next few weeks will hold great significance for us. Each day brings a new realization that she was with us at this point one year ago. She was living inside of me one year ago. I did not even know of her at this point but I already loved her.  I look forward with humility to honoring her in the next few weeks as we mark a few anniversaries of her life and the beginning of her life in Heaven. I also look with sadness as each day passes. Each day I remember that she was being knit together by the great Creator at this very moment one year ago. I know He rejoices over her now and I am sure He rejoiced over her with every stroke of His creating hand.