A Very Speical Day

I mentioned in an earlier post that I was actually ordained to the ministry of the gospel 3 days after we lost Abigail. I want to share a bit about that day with you. Because we were in so much pain, that day was a bit of a blur but I wrote down my thoughts the next day so I wouldn’t forget. I am so grateful for the opportunity to be supported and encouraged in the ministry God has called me to. I am very grateful to my church family and the leadership there as they are so encouraging and affirming. I am beyond blessed to serve my Savior through counseling and discipleship. Some days it is really hard and emotionally draining but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. 1 Timothy 1:12 really explains how I feel about what God has placed on my heart, "I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength, that he considered me faithful, appointing me to his service." In the future I hope to post my journey to discovering my calling but for now here is my summary of that very special day:

I first felt my call into vocational ministry the summer following my freshman year in college. I was 18 at the time. I knew that God had placed a deep desire in my heart to serve His people and that I simply wouldn’t be content or satisfied to do anything else for my career. So after hours of prayer, singing, and reading Scripture I prayed a prayer of surrender and commitment to God late night in a gazebo on Cumberland College’s campus. I started on a new journey with the Lord. It was actually not a new journey. I had been on this journey for a long time and I now look back and see all that God was doing to prepare me for the moment and for the present moment.

I finished college with an even deeper desire to serve the Lord and an eagerness to get started. After serving on several mission teams and projects I knew that I was to work with college students and particularly counseling and discipling female college students. After two years of serving as a dorm director I accepted a call to become that Associate Campus Minister and Director of Appalachian Ministries at the University of the Cumberlands. It was everything I had always desired. I would get to spend time developing relationships with students, counseling girls, and serving our community.

As soon as I began the job I also started Seminary. I attended Liberty Baptist Theological Seminary online and pursued a Masters of Pastoral Counseling. On completion of the degree I was informed that I could apply to become a Board Certified Pastoral Counselor through the American Association of the Christian Counselors. I read through the requirements and quickly realized the only thing I lacked was ordination.

Dave and I discussed it, prayed about it, and casually approached one of the pastors of our church. He said he thought they would be behind it but he would discuss it with the other pastors. In August 2011 David and I began meeting with the pastoral team to go over my desire to be ordained, my theology, and biblical doctrine. After a series of 5 meetings our church decided to be my ordaining body.

I was thrilled and humbled. I couldn’t wait. It was something I had desired for many years and knew that the support would only make me stronger. We set the date for December 11, 2011. Dave invited several people through facebook and I began letting the students know.

On the day of the ordination we arrived at church early to make sure we knew where to be and what we were expected to do. After a praise and worship set of a few Christmas songs and the song “God of this City” the pastor began by explaining to the congregation what ordination was. He discussed the places in Scripture where we see it and how we had come to this point. He shared about my ministry and the process we had gone through and how the church wanted to be a support and encourager of my ministry.

I was asked to come to the front of the Sanctuary and share about my testimony, call to ministry, and current ministry. I shared deeply from my heart. I am sure the Spirit spoke through me because I do not remember what I said. I simply prayed that God’s voice would speak and that my desire to praise and honor Him would be known.

The pastor then asked for all the people in the church who had been ordained to come up front and stand with me. I asked if David could come stand beside me and he did. It was amazing to share that moment with him. I needed his support and strength. Then the pastor asked for all the church leaders to come join us as well. Then he asked anyone who had been touched by the ministry God had allowed me to do to come to the front. It was overwhelming and incredibly humbling to watch so many people stand up and surround me with love, support, encouragement, and acceptance. It was as if they were all saying, “I see God’s hand on you Magan and I am behind you 100%.”

It was incredible to look around me and see my spiritual father and mentor, who also happens t be my boss standing behind me. He and his wife have meant so much to me and been such great encouragers. It would not have been complete without them. It was humbling to have my church family surround me and so many friends and students. As one of the other pastors, who I love dearly, prayed I could feel hundreds of hands covering me with prayer. I was holding the hands of two college students I have worked with since their freshman years. It was overwhelming. What a precious moment, to be surrounding, under-girded, affirmed, loved. I could barely take it all in. I am still humbled and in awe.

I was presented with a certificate of ordination which now hangs in my office. At the end of the service everyone was welcome to come congratulate and encourage Dave and I. Some of the sweetest, most heartfelt, humbling things were told to me that day. These students, family members, friends, church family, and mentors have no idea what their words meant to me and always will mean. I have never felt so supported, affirmed, loves, or held than in that moment. I will cherish it always.

To my gracious and loving Savior, Jesus Christ, be all the glory.

This part of the story I want to forget but I know it is a great piece of our story. On December 9^th, only two days before my ordination, we found out that we had a miscarriage at 5 weeks with our first baby. We were devastated. I was so emotionally raw that morning that many of the events slipped past me without notice. I wanted to take in every moment but my heart ached so deeply. Our church family and a few friends knew the pain we had just suffered so it was comforting to see the sympathy and care on their faces but there were so many that did now know. They walked up with smiles and laughter congratulating me and telling me how proud they were of me. I simultaneously wanted to hug them and smile back telling them how much their presence that morning meant to me and then weep in their arms sharing our pain.

The next week one of the pastor’s wives who I greatly admire shared with me a great vision. She said that she grieved with us over the loss of our baby but that she wanted to share this. She said, “Only two days after God took your baby to be with Him in heaven you were standing here surrounded by your spiritual children.” She was exactly right. While it does not take the ache of losing our baby away I am reminded of the great opportunities God has given us. On that day I held the precious hands of two of my daughters as we prayed. I was hugged and encouraged by many of those spiritual daughters. All of whom I have walked through some really hard times with. All I have held as they cried. All I have brought to the foot of the cross. All I have fallen asleep praying for. All I have encouraged, taught, and led in many ways. All I have loved deeply. I was encouraged and loved by many of my spiritual sons. All of whom I have listened to, counseled, taught, led, and encouraged through their tears and mine. These children mean so much to me. I do pray from the deepest desire that God has placed within me that we will conceive, and very soon, so that we may raise our own children to know God and follow Him. But, even in that rich blessing, I will never forget these children. I will not soon forget all that God has taught me through them and all the love they have shown me, and all the love I hold in my heart for them.